1. Know the difference between confidence and cockiness. The first entails feeling good about your abilities in any given area. The second involves feeling so insecure in an area that you feel the need to project otherwise. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to apologize for being good at something. However, you risk ridicule if you feel the need to shout at the top of your lungs on a consistent basis.

2. Stop thinking in black-and-white terms. Very few things in life fall into this pattern. Instead, view issues as falling within a broader spectrum. The gray area (the middle) is where most of life is lived, and allows for room for us to breathe, make mistakes, learn new viewpoints, and otherwise be human.

3. Compete when given the opportunity. Competition, no matter the context, provides opportunities for self-mastery and improved confidence. What's wrong with that?

4. Set aside at least an hour or two (or more, if you can) in your schedule every week for relaxation. Block it off ahead of time, and leave it be. You can spend that time doing anything you want that relaxes you. What you'll find is that it serves as a quick refresher, which can be priceless during a long work week.

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In no particular order, five books I recently enjoyed:

1. The 5 Lessons A Millionaire Taught Me, by Richard Paul Evans
2. Overachievement: The New Model for Exceptional Performance, by John Eliot, Ph.D.
3. Brothers in Battle, Best of Friends, by William "Wild Bill" Guarnere and Edward "Babe" Heffron
4. The Birth of America: From Columbus to the Revolution, by William R. Polk
5. Take the Risk: Learning to Identify, Choose, and Live with Acceptable Risk, by Ben Carson, M.D.

And one book I particularly didn't enjoy:

How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else, by Michael Gates Gill

I've included this here because, judging by the title alone, it seems like a feel-good book. It isn't. It is really fifty pages of feel-OK material diluted with over two hundred more pages of lessons on why everyone should want to work for Starbucks.

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I have always thought that the mark of any great leader or champion is their ability to rebound from setbacks. The ability to absorb the impact of life's punches is a valuable skill. Is this, however, a skill that certain people are born with, or is it a skill that is learned throughout life? In my opinion, perhaps both, though I believe that most people develop this skill as they progress through life.

Resiliency can be broken down into two components: physical and mental. Physical resiliency deals with our ability to fight off disease and the effects of stress, and the mental component obviously is identified with the ability to reduce self-made stress and deal with the inevitable difficulties that we face on a daily basis. These components work together. It's almost impossible to be tough mentally when you are physically exhausted.

To get our physical self in order, we need to:

• Eat right
• Get adequate rest
• Stay hydrated
• Exercise

The mental component entails:

• The ability to find a silver lining in any event
• The ability to not take ourselves too seriously
• Cognitive flexibility: The ability to change tactics midstream in pursuit of our ultimate strategy

Too often we tend to habituate ourselves to avoid risk, to run away from that which we fear, and to feel that some things in life are too difficult to work through. Why not go the other way? For the month of February, I challenge you to begin to work on becoming more resilient. Start with the physical component, and then begin to change the way you look at situations.

Remember, being scared is fine. It's being frightened of being scared that gets you into trouble.

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