1. Role models are great beacons in the mist of everyday living. Actively find some to guide you toward improving any area of your life. No matter what level of success you have attained, there is always a role model you can emulate. At best, you dramatically improve the quality of your life. At worst, you still find yourself pursuing a model of what you want to become.

2. In business, and in life in general, if you have to be convinced of your own value, you won't get very far. You have unique strengths and value to bring to the table in every interaction. The first step in increasing business and personal achievement is to realize this.

3. Do you know how to relax quickly? If not, you need to build into your daily schedule a method for making yourself relax, and fast. I use several techniques, such as taking a short nap when a therapy client cancels (I close the door, turn off the lights, set the alarm on my phone, and pass out for 30 minutes), doing pushups (a quick workout, especially helpful when I am feeling frustrated), reading, and play wrestling with my two young boys (they are starting to learn the value of teamwork, to my dismay). Build several relaxation mechanisms into your life. They will come in handy this month.

4. How funny are you? If you haven't laughed a lot lately, especially at your self, something is terribly wrong in your life. I'm constantly surprised by some of the dumb things I do. And no, that doesn't hurt my self-esteem. It raises it, because I enjoy the pleasure of my own imperfect company.

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This month's motley selection, in no particular order:

1. The Effective Executive, by Peter F. Drucker

2. Why You're Dumb, Sick, & Broke, by Randy Gage

3. Why Leaders Can't Lead, by Warren Bennis

4. Sources of Power: How People Make Decisions, by Gary Klein

5. Cooking Basics for Dummies, by Miller and Marie Rama

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Ah, the joy of the annual "stress-fest" we know as the holidays. Every year around this time, people seem to change, and not always for the better. See if you recognize these symptoms in your own life:

• increased general anxiety
• shorter temper with loved ones
• dread, usually related to having to spend time with people you'd rather not spend time with -panic symptoms related to gift shopping (increased heart rate and blood pressure, inability to concentrate, feelings of impending doom) -increased physical sickness (colds, flu) associated with weakened immune systems -regret -guilt (which increases after the New Year when credit card bills arrive)

This list is not intended to be exhaustive, nor is it intended to be a light-hearted. We humans tend to have a way of stressing ourselves out, for no good reason. But why?

I think we put too much pressure on the need to create "lifelong memories" during the holidays. We try too hard to make everything perfect, and we try too hard to be what others think we should be. What happens is that nothing seems to go to plan, we run out of film in our cameras, and things go wrong despite our obsessive planning. Right?

Stop the madness this holiday season. You don't have to spend money to be happy, and you don't have to be everything to everyone. Just be you. If you don't feel like spending a thousand dollars on your family, don't. Myself, I'd rather someone tell me that I matter greatly to them, or that they love me, than have them buy me something I might later return (despite their best intentions). The holidays are simply federally-sanctioned excuses to spend time with those that matter most to us and to indulge in good food and spirits.

Do what makes you happy, with those you love and hold dear. Put on some good holiday music (anything by Nat King Cole will suffice) and kick back awhile. Sipping some delightful eggnog can't hurt, either.

Happy Holidays.

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