This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. Questions for Growth
3. Reality Check - Courage and Confidence

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. In business and in life, focus not on the obstacles in your path, but on the strengths that you bring to bear. Too often we worry so much that we forget that we actually do have value to offer to others.

2. How high maintenance are you? See if you can reduce the amount of unnecessary stress in your life. This means:
   1. Give yourself more time between appointments, tasks, etc
   2. Stop setting silly, arbitrary guidelines (i.e., I will run 4.37 miles today, and then consume only 14 grams of fat the rest of the day)
   3. Stop acting like your self-esteem is a balloon that can be popped by the first stranger with a pin
   4. Eliminate as many of those strange, overused, and useless excuses you cling to to explain your lack of success in some area of your life
   5. Eating when you are hungry, and eating relatively well
   6. If you don’t enjoy something, stop doing it.

3. If you want to be less angry, stop assuming intent. Too often we assume that we know what the other party is thinking, and that it has something to do with wanting to make us angry, or be defiant in our presence, or generally show us disrespect. In reality, most people, ourselves included, are not walking around with the intent of purposefully angering everyone around us. Stop assuming intent, give them the benefit of the doubt (maybe it has nothing to do with you!), and breathe out.

4. To get instant perspective about any situation, ask yourself, “What’s funny about this situation?” and wait for the answer. Humor is a sign of intelligence. Use yours often.

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2. Questions for Growth
1. When was the last time you checked up on your New Year’s Resolutions? We’re halfway through 2007.

2. Do you consciously plan your weekly activities around your priorities, or vice versa? HINT: one way leads to increased productivity

3. How often do you accept rejection as final? What would happen if you started looking at it as transient and temporary?

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3. Reality Check - Courage and Confidence

I once read a definition of courage that has always stuck with me in times of angst and fear, and that definition states that “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, the decision that something else is more important.” This is a powerful statement, as it allows us to experience feel and bravery simultaneously. We can walk afraid, long as we are walking forward, and we don’t have to feel shame or guilt while doing it.

One of the biggest problems we face today is a lack of confidence in ourselves. No matter how nice we are to that person in the mirror, the comments of a complete stranger can pierce our protective defenses. Likewise, no amount of self-talk or affirmations can replace the feeling we get when someone compliments us. Thus, we face a dilemma: How are we to gain confidence if the traditional method (be nice to yourself) doesn’t work?

The answer starts with courage. We have to be courageous enough to take some bold risks in our lives, not knowing if there is a payoff at the other end. This ability to push ourselves out of our comfort zones starts the process of building true confidence, as it results in positive results. We end up being proud of our own bravery, feel better about the result, and resolve to chance again should the opportunity arise. This is what happened the first time we rode a roller coaster, where we sat sweating, trembling, thinking of how pithy the inscription on our tombstone would be. Once the ride ended, however, and we were still alive, we realized that the entire experience was actually fun. Undoubtedly, we rushed back to do it again, our fear of the coaster gone.

Confidence can only be built through first taking a chance and then getting rewarded by our environment (via mastery) for that risk. We ask someone out, they accept. We give a speech, don’t die, and receive applause. We wear shorts and find that nobody runs at the site of our blanched legs. The process is always the same. It’s not about affirmations, visualizations, or simply acting the part. It’s about mastery of risks and the gaining of new skills.

In your own life, as in mine, I’m certain that you are not nearly as confident as you could be. Start today to take better risks, more often, and start the process of pragmatically building your own sense of self-worth. You’ll have so much fun in the process that you just might forget that you were once scared of roller coasters.

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