Personal Bests Newsletter March, 2007
Techniques For Living An Effective Life
A free e-newsletter provided to you by Personal Best Consulting and Leif H. Smith, Psy.D.

This issue is made up of the following sections:

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
  2. Books for Growth
  3. Reality Check - Discomfortitis

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
    1. With regards to time management, the most important time you need to manage is that junction of time between what happens to you and how you respond. This “stimulus-response moment” is the basis for managing anything that comes your way. Either you become proactive about how you respond to life events, or you allow them to dictate not only your current mood but also how your life unfolds.

    2. Try the “Anyone Can Do This” diet program. It entails portion control (eat a little less), a little forethought (eating Crisco probably isn’t good for you), exercise (work out a little more than yesterday), and attitude (stop making excuses about why you are not in the best of health). Results are still out, but the preliminary findings are encouraging.

    3. One of the biggest components of a mid-life crisis is what researchers call the “achievement-aspiration gap,” which represents the distance between what you have accomplished and what you originally set out to accomplish. We widen this gap anytime we make excuses, fail to prioritize, believe that everyone else has it figured out, etc. Are you actively pursuing that which makes you happy?

    4. As a business owner, I have learned that great marketing trumps having a great product. There are plenty of unknown people that are good at what they do, and there are plenty of people that provide shoddy or subpar service or products (I can name a few in my line of work…) but still do well. In your life, apply the lesson here, which is that competence is not enough. You must be able to “toot your own horn” so that others can hear you. If you find that you are good or great at what you do, but still aren’t experiencing the kind of success you want, chances are that not enough people have heard your music, so to speak.

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  2. Books for Growth
  3. A selection of recent titles to expand your intellectual breadth and depth. I have read them all in the past month and thus recommend them highly:

    1. Team of Rivals, by Doris Kearns
      Great read about Abraham Lincoln and his dealings with his cabinet during the most turbulent time this country has ever faced. Best leadership book I’ve read in a couple of years.

    2. Man in the Middle, by John Amaechi
      Interesting take on life in the NBA from a truly multicultural perspective.

    3. The Scratch of a Pen: 1763 and the Transformation of North America, by Colin Calloway
      Most people know about the American Revolution. Most people have no idea about the ramifications of the Treaty of Paris, and how the consequences of this treaty made conflict with Britain inevitable. This book fills in that gap.

    4. The Grammar Bible: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Grammar but Didn't Know Whom to Ask, by Michael Strumpf
      I refer to this all the time. Probably because I make so many mistakes…

    5. Game of Shadows, by Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams
      Enlightening read about steroids in professional baseball. Reading this will not only improve your ability to engage in water-cooler banter, but will get you ready for the upcoming MLB season, lawsuits and all…

    6. Conspiracy of Fools, by Kurt Eichenwald
      Everything you wanted to know about the Enron scandle, and more.

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  4. Reality Check - Discomfortitis
  5. In my work as a consultant and clinician I have come across many people who are displaying the same pattern of symptoms of a new disorder called Discomfortitis. The symptoms of this disease include:

    • anxiety associated with increased workload
    • fear of failure
    • difficulty making decisions
    • inability to deal with discomfort in any form
    • feelings of overwhelm
    • emotional paralysis

    The onset of Discomfortitis is gradual, and prognosis depends on several variables, including pain threshold, how hard someone is willing to work, and overall mental attitude.

    My question: Do you suffer from this new and chronically annoying (not debilitating) syndrome? I would venture to bet that most subscribers to this newsletter have suffered through this disorder for periods of time, and I can verify that I have had several bouts with the disease.

    Kidding aside, the bottom line here is that we need to inoculate ourselves against our own fear of discomfort. Prevention is the best medicine in this case. We need to realize that every emotion, including discomfort, teaches us something about ourselves. In our daily lives, discomfort can be a positive sign that we are pushing ourselves past previous self-imposed limits. It can also be a sign that we are venturing out of our comfort zones in hopes of self-improvement. In my own life, I actually use discomfort as a sign that I am headed in the right direction. If I am too comfortable, I know that I am not as challenged as I need to be. And I am at my best when I feel challenged.

    We need to be able to suffer and push through discomfort, folks. Hard work and fortitude go a long way towards putting us in a position to enjoy success. A little pain, a bit of annoyance or irritation, the pain of rejection: These things are a small price to pay for the rewards that await, which include confidence and personal growth. In your own life, try to intentionally put yourself in a position of being uncomfortable. Do something you haven’t done. Be brave. Speak out. Take a shot. But don’t let this one little emotion get the best of you.

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