This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. Holiday Wishes
3. Reality Check - Being Courageous

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. I once read somewhere that changed plans are merely dancing lessons from the universe. I agree. Every misstep, every mistake, and every unforeseen event that crosses our path is a lesson in staying nimble and flexible in our daily operations.

2. If you want to feel more alive (and accountable to yourself) try to eliminate as many of the rehashed excuses you lean on to explain away your deficiencies, failures, etc. I've found in my own life that every time I stop myself from using an excuse I feel more alive and more free from my own chains.

3. Tip for the bold: Care unconditionally. The more you can offer honest, genuine caring and empathy, the more value you create and enjoy in your personal and professional relationships.

4. Some stress-relief tips for the holidays:
   1. Don't over schedule yourself. Guard your down time ferociously to counterbalance how hard you work the rest of the year.
   2. Eliminate necessary evils. You don't have to spend time with Aunt Martha if she drives you batty. You also don't have to eat that rock-hard fruitcake, watch "The Christmas Story" eighteen times a day, or run up an enormous debt on your credit card.
   3. Practice a diet of moderation. Cookies aren't bad, nor is eggnog. Both in excess, however, do more harm than good.
   4. Enjoy some of the cliches of the season: Sledding, sitting around the fireplace, footie pajamas, building snowmen (I refuse to say snow people, sorry), and regifting.

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2. Holiday Wishes

As we enter the holiday season, I wanted to take the time (and newsletter space) to wish you and yours success, happiness, and health in the coming new year. May this season be one in which you are able to stop and enjoy all of life's little blessings.

A very special thank you is in order for those clients of Personal Best Consulting, large and small. Without you, my work wouldn't exist, and I wouldn't have had as many chances to learn so much from so many. I am continually humbled and honored to work with you, and to be able to be a participant in your personal and professional success. If I can teach half as much as I learn in each of my relationships with you, I consider myself blessed. Thank you for your continued trust, and here's to more success together in the coming year!

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3. Reality Check - Being Courageous

Most people, in my opinion, are their own greatest obstacle to success. There is something slightly scary about success, in a way, because it begets additional responsibility, portrays us to others as competent, and raises the bar in terms of standard of living.

There are many obstacles to success, but the ones that I come across the most in my work are those that are created in the "work spaces" of the basements of our minds, if you will. We spend more time coming up with excuses, spend more mental energy on why things won't work, and generally intimidate ourselves into playing it safe in various aspects of our lives. I've talked to executives that have turned down promotions because they didn't feel like they deserved them. I've also watched people sabotage relationships with partners and significant others because they didn't believe such a quality of relationship and intimacy could exist. So we end up going back to that place in our minds where we feel safe-not necessarily successful, but safe-and explain away our self-imposed limits ("I wasn't the best person for that job anyway..." or "He was too good to be true, which means he was probably cheating on me.")

We are our own biggest problem, and it stems from a lack of self-confidence. Self-confidence, though, is the end result of having taken a risk and achieved some measure of success, be it big or small. Thus, you must risk to become more confident and happy. There is no way around it, folks. In my own life, when I feel scared, or tentative, or unsure of myself, I immediately recall a definition (attributed to several different authors) of courage that immediately sustains and strengthens me: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the decision that something else is more important." When you can allow yourself to be afraid while still taking steps forward toward your goal, you will be amazed at what you find out about yourself. Thus, you can be scared and still be successful, and you can be unsure and still win the day.

Are you allowing yourself to be paralyzed by an army of your own little fears? If you are, try this: Allow for their existence, but move forward anyway. Take a chance, even if you might fail. Allow a compliment from others to sink in. Move when you are 80% certain on any decision. The possibilities are endless. The consequences of living a life draped in fear and self-made anxiety are severe. Be a bit courageous and see what happens.

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