This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. A Day in the Life...
3. Reality Check - How to pick apples

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. When beginning any meetings, verbalize your agenda up front. "Thanks for taking the time to see me today, Mr. Jones. Here's what I'd like to cover in our half hour together..." Doing so cuts back on wasted time, makes certain that you cover what you want to cover, and allows you to be more pragmatic with your time.

2. Apply "incremental effectiveness" to any area of your life in which you want to improve. Get a little bit better, find a way to do it in less time, quicker, better...Over time, a lot of "incremental" improvements really add up. This is an easy way to increase your effectiveness without the pain of feeling overwhelmed.

3. When managing or working with people under your supervision, find teachable moments, and then intervene. Doing so when the behavior you want them to change or alter is right in front of you allows for rapid learning, as they link their behavior with the effect it has on others.

4. Want some simple tips for better interpersonal skills?
   • keep steady eye contact, which is a sign of respect and engagement
   • smile more
   • turn off the cell phone (or at least put it on vibrate, and then DON'T answer it while engaged in conversation)
   • listen. Really.
   • make your humor self-deprecating. It implies humility, rather than the arrogance that is often conveyed when laughing at the expense of others.
   • don't put others on pedestals, no matter their title or initials after their name. They were born naked and hairless, just like you. Engage them as a fellow traveler rather than a member of the royal family.

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2. A Day in the Life...

As part of my consulting work, I receive about a dozen strange emails per month on all sorts of topics and from all sorts of people. This past month, I received one from someone who was seeking consultation on ways to improve his study habits, as he happened to be a new psychologist studying for his licensure exam, which is a foreboding and expensive test to undertake. His email was deadly serious, but he signed off as Dr. Pepper. Not Brian H. Pepper, Ph.D, or Michael Pepper, Psy.D, but simply Dr. Pepper.

I responded with the idea that a starting point to passing the exam might be to not call himself Dr. Pepper, as most people might think he is either joking or that he is entirely oblivious to the humor inherent in his preference to be titled as a soft drink. He obviously took himself much too seriously, and thus probably lost perspective easily.

He became enraged, and stated that he wasn't consulting me about his name, but about whether I could help him pass the exam. Again, he signed off as Dr. Pepper.

I politely turned him down, and wondered how his future clients would respond to his initial introductions.

Him: "Hi, I'm Dr. Pepper...."
Them: "Dr Who?"
Him: "Dr Pepper.."
Them: "Like, the soft drink"
Him: (frustrated) "Um..."
Them: "Are you related to THE Dr. Pepper?"
Etc.....

Perspective is everything, eh?

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3. Reality Check - How to pick apples

Over lunch this past month with a extremely talented colleague and friend, we came upon the topic of apples, and the correct way to pick them off of trees. What does this have to do with being more effective in your life and your pursuits? A lot, even if you are like me and know little of the art of picking apples. Therefore, July's Reality Check is about learning how to more effectively gather the fruits of your labor, so to speak.

First off, I know little about apples. I'm a process consultant. But there is a nice lesson hidden within the art of gathering this fruit, so I listen when someone discusses how to do it. And here is how you do it, straight from the source:

"To pick an apple, gently take the fruit in the palm of your hand, thenlift and twist in a single motion. Alternatively, use one hand to holdthe short, thick fruiting spur that bore the apple, and the other handto lift and twist the fruit. Avoid pulling or yanking the fruit, as youcould pull off the spur, taking with it next year's flower buds"

What is interesting to me is that the same directions can be applied to "gathering apples" in your pursuit of happiness. Too often, we pull or yank at our rewards in an attempt to get them while we can. We rush, we hurry, and we sometimes do more damage in our haste for reward that we undo all that got us to this point.

The lesson here is that there are rewards for being patient and working hard. Yank the apples too soon, and not only will you get fruit that isn't ripe, but the tree will suffer and will bear less fruit next season. Wait awhile, and gently twist when appropriate, and the fruit will be delicious and will return again for your enjoyment the following season.

In other words: Being intentionally patient and focused on the big picture brings tremendous rewards. How does this apply to your life?

• Try to avoid focusing on the short-term rewards, and focus instead on the long-term value of the pursuit (i.e, quit worrying about losing five pounds by next Tuesday, and start thinking about how working out more and eating better will add years to your life via greater health)

• Treat relationships with as much patience and care as you would prized apples.

• Remember that most of what we do in this life will not change the course of history. But that doesn't mean your own pursuits, no matter how trivial or small to others, can't be immensely satisfying.

There is a lesson in everything you come across if you open yourself to this fact. Who'd of thought apples could teach us so much?

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