Personal Bests Newsletter May, 2006
Techniques For Living An Effective Life
A free e-newsletter provided to you by Personal Best Consulting and Leif H. Smith, Psy.D.

This issue is made up of the following sections:

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
  2. Questions for Growth
  3. Reality Check - Playing to Win

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
    1. Stop overthinking everything and take action when you are 80% sure that doing so will be to your benefit. Procrastination is obsessing about all possible consequences and courses of action. Seldom will there be one perfect solution. Take action.

    2. Get uncomfortable-in your workouts, in your relationships, in your career. Discomfort is the edge by which we grow, and although we program ourselves to seek the familiar and the known, the other side of the fence is much more rewarding. Some ways to get more uncomfortable in your life include:

      • asking for the raise you are due
      • dressing better, improving your appearance
      • start working out regularly, and wear shorts while doing so.
      • be assertive at work. If you allow people to walk all over you, they will.
      • try new things-read new books, eat out at new ethnic restaurants, etc.

    3. Always stay centered within what Stephen Covey calls your "Circle of Competence." Stay within your personal strengths, which means sticking to doing what you do best and understand most. Emphasizing what you are good and coming from a position of strength in every endeavor is a powerful tool for increased productivity and effectiveness.

    4. Want a simple tip that will instantly improve your ability to relate to others? Listen twice as much as you speak. Seriously! You'll never learn something about someone while discussing how scenic your last vacation was. Everyone you come across is used to having perfunctory conversations that are void of warmth and human interaction. Next time you meet someone new, ask them a question, and then shut up and listen. You'll learn a lot, and become an object of interest to others.

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  2. Questions for Growth
    1. How many people in your life do you have that will tell you things that you may not want to hear, but would appreciate hearing anyway?

    2. How much gap is there between your dreams and your current reality?

    3. What is one step you could take today to close that gap?

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  3. Reality Check - Playing to Win
  4. We've all heard the bromide, "It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. What matters is how you play the game." To a point I agree, however, if winning doesn't matter, why does anybody bother keeping score?

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy competitive spirit. There is nothing pathological about wanting to come out on top in whatever you set your mind to doing. Too often we find ourselves getting caught up in the mixed messages that society sends. Society wants you to win, but doesn't like it if you are too confident while doing so. That's crazy, folks.

    In everything you do, push to win. Try to get better. Work your butt off so that you improve your standard of living, no matter the area of focus. It's true that winning isn't everything, but there is also nothing unhealthy about wanting to be the best you can be in everything you do, whether the task involves parenting or winning the next client contract.

    Don't listen to the mixed message that society and those around you subscribe to. It's ok to compete ferociously and to be confident doing so, and it is ok to feel confident that you are going to win. In a world chock full of negativity, feeling confident in yourself and your abilities is sometimes the only buffer between hope and helplessness. Confidence and competitiveness beget better results, which in turn allow for greater confidence.

    SO....the next time you find yourself wondering if you are "allowed" to play to win and dominate your competition, remember this: Those people that are turned off by your relentless pursuit of betterment are those that are most threatened by and afraid of failing at their own pursuits. Don't listen to them.

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