This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. Questions for Growth
3. Reality Check - Defining the Terms of Your Life

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. Open your eyes to the fact that numerous opportunities exist all around you, every day, to better your life situation. If you look for them, they are there, in books, relationships, dreams, conversations, and coincidences. Look, listen, and take the time to really perceive these opportunities. All you need is one to change your life completely.

2. Most unsolicited feedback from others is worthless. It is usually for their sake, not yours. Thus, proceed (in your relationships and your work) on principle rather than on feedback. You are never as good or as bad as others would have you believe, and making your moods dependent on the opinions and comments of others (sometimes even complete strangers!) puts you in a helpless, dangerous position emotionally.

3. When leaving a phone message, keep it short and sweet. Too many people leave lengthy, time-consuming messages that serve to make it difficult on the recipient (who may be retrieving your call between clients, jobs, conversations, etc).

4. How you handle yourself while facing adversity says a lot about your character. There's nothing wrong with being angry when wronged, but there is something counterproductive about hurting yourself in the process. Focus on getting stronger, smarter, and better, and pour your energy into solutions instead of explanations and what-ifs. You'll come out on top.

5. Learn to ask for what you want. A great book on the subject is The Alladin Factor, by Jack Canfield. Don't assume people know how you feel, and don't assume that others will act on that psychic knowledge. Ask, be specific, and move forward. Most people are more than willing to help if you let them know how they can do so!

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2. Questions for Growth
1. How scared are you? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being low and 10 being high, how much daily fear (anxiety, nervousness, etc) do you feel?

2. Not that you have that number, think about how much more you could accomplish in your life if you lowered that number. What would it take to lower it? More confidence? More taking action? More information?

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3. Reality Check

There is something inherently delightful in reading about those in history who have lived life on their own terms, whether individually or as a culture. However, I don't really believe that many people actually understand how important doing so is to their mental health. To me, living life on my own terms means:

• Never apologizing for doing what I feel to be right, ethically, professionally, etc.
• Always valuing people above all else
• Making fun a daily part of my life
• Playing to win in everything I do
• Listening to my gut instincts more often that not (about work, people, etc)
• Living as if tomorrow is not a given

Whose terms are you living life on? Your own, or others'? I would venture to guess that many of you can benefit from redefining the terms by which you will create your own quality of life. Existentially, the concept of death, though terrifying in outcome, saves us to live life in a more authentic and genuine manner. The idea that your death is guaranteed, that we are all headed in the same direction-when you allow yourself to "sit with" this idea, it grants you the freedom and foresight to design life on your terms.

Are you living authentically, or are you living as others' would have you live? If you are doing the former, you are in a constant state of awe and reverence. You're experiencing the joy that can only come from a day spent pursuing what is most important, what is most precious. If you're engaged in the latter, you're not, and experiencing guilt, anxiety, and all the negative feelings that accompany that choice.

Keep this in mind: In the end, nobody ever lies on their deathbed wishing that they would have spent more time keeping their boss happy.

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