Personal Bests Newsletter April, 2005
Techniques For Living An Effective Life
A free e-newsletter provided to you by Personal Best Consulting and Leif H. Smith, Psy.D.

This issue is made up of the following sections:

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
  2. Questions for Growth
  3. Reality Check

  1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
    1. Fight fear at every turn in your life. I once read a definition of courage that has always stuck with me. It defined courage as "not the absence of fear, but rather, the decision that something else is more important." There is something to be said for the positive effects of being courageous in your life. Be assertive, ask questions, seek the raise, stand up to ignorance, take a chance. The possibilities are endless, and the consequences terrific.

    2. Trying to please everyone results in satisfying absolutely no one. It's better to make one loyal friend, to impress an important person (with regards to the value they can add to your life), and to gain the trust of a single acquaintance than to waste your time and effort trying to win everyone over all the time.

    3. Most people are problem-focused. They spend far too much of their time describing their crises (to anyone that will listen!) and far too little effort working their way out of them. Become more solution-focused in every area of your life. Your productivity will soar, and you will gain more control and feel more empowered. You will also be more pleasant to be around!

    4. Get more sleep. An informal survey on CNN.com found that over 60% of people are chronically sleep-deprived (getting less than eight hours on average per night). How can you expect to function at your best when you are incrementally reducing your body's ability to restore vitality?

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  2. Questions for Growth
    1. How much of your day/week do you spend on priorities?

    2. When was the last time you scheduled mandatory vacation time into your schedule?

    3. If that old adage, "You are the company you keep" is true, what would an informal analysis of your support network reveal about you?

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  3. Reality Check
  4. A while back, I attended my doctoral graduation in Chicago, Illinois. I was excited to be able to finally celebrate this milestone, as I had neglected to have any celebrations for previous degrees. On this cool October fall afternoon, I found myself sitting amongst strangers in caps and gowns. On my left were two women, one of whom was obviously anxious about the day's events, and the other, sitting closer to me, who was extremely calm and collected. I knew neither, but sat down in my assigned seat next to my designated companions.

    As the ceremony dragged on (as graduation ceremonies do), the woman on my far left began chatting nervously in my direction, pretending not to see my look of indifference to her plight as we awaited our walk to the stage for the final ceremony. The woman between us quietly turned and asked me if I could help her to the stage when her name was called. Not realizing she had a cane (though she was only about forty years old), I readily agreed anyway. The director of ceremonies than discussed our featured student speaker, and how this speaker was a living testament to overcoming obstacles. While this was going on, the woman on my far left smirked, saying, "Who is this speaker? I've never even heard of her." Her comments coincided almost perfectly with the sudden movement of the woman next to me, who began to stand up and asked for my assistance to the stage. She quietly ignored the comments of the woman beside her, and stood up with my assistance. Holding her at the elbow, I slowly worked with her and helped her to the podium for her speech. When I sat back down, I wondered how the woman who had made the insensitive remarks was feeling, considering the horrendous timing of her comments.

    Recently, while surfing my school's alumni website, I found out that this courageous young woman died in December of 2004 from a probable diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. She was only forty-three years old, and had made a career out of helping the disabled and disadvantaged. Little had I known.

    What is the reality check in this sad story? I believe it has to do with being open to life's blessings, as well as the blessings that we can bring to the lives of others. I played a tiny part in this stranger's life, but I felt dignified and proud to assist her on that cool fall afternoon. The woman on her left and I both sat next to this fellow stranger, but I am sure that I will be the one to remember that this stranger had a name, and her name was Katherine.

    Understand the power of the little in making big changes in your life. It is silly to think that we can understand which actions we take on a daily basis will have the biggest impact on the lives of others. All we can do is add value at every turn to the lives of those around us, and believe that this value will be returned tenfold in it's own time and context. I was reminded of that fact when I realized that I learned a valuable lesson about being open to life's moments. You can too, provided you open your eyes wide enough.

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