In today's age of instant gratification, it can be confusing to try and parent your son or daughter, particularly with regards to sport participation. Children begin participating in sports at younger and younger ages, and these sports are getting away from the "everybody plays" philosophy and embracing "my child will be a superstar" philosophies. How can you raise your child to be a well-adjusted young athlete, able to compete yet able to understand that there is more to life than just sports? In my work with parents and athletes from all ages, I have condensed the best of what I have learned into a simple "recipe" for effectively parenting your child in sport participation, regardless of their interest or skill level. Follow this recipe closely and watch your child blossom.

1. 2 Cups Independence

20% of my recipe involves teaching your child the importance of taking care of him or herself. This can be a difficult task, particularly in today's society. However, it is important that your child learn to:

• Be responsible for his or her actions and behaviors
• Make decisions for him or herself
• Understand that mom and dad cannot always be there to help him or her out of "jams"
• Be assertive and stand up for him or herself in a healthy way

All of these things can be taught, but mostly they must be modeled and reinforced. Teach your child through your actions that they can do some things in life on their own; they can take some chances and they can be at least partly self-sufficient.

Some ways you can impart the importance of independence include:

• Allow your child to make choices for him or herself. Start with smaller choices (choice of food, activities, etc) and move up to larger choices (which sport to participate in, how to spend his or her weekend)
• Model for your child that they don't always have to be with you. Teach the importance of alone time, whether it entails reading in his or her room alone or a trip to the library without mom and dad.
2. 3 Cups Individual Failure

Failure is a wonderful teacher, whether the subject is sports, love, or academics. However, far too many parents attempt to shield their children from failure, robbing them of the experience of learning about courage, bravery, humility, and persistence. Don't be one of those parents! Learning to deal with failure (which is inevitable, provided you are human) vaccinates your child against the hardships of real life. They learn that life is not always fair, and that the true test of character is not whether one wins, but how one reacts to failures, which can take many forms:

• Failure to make the team
• Loss while a member of a team
• Individual loss during competition
• Loss of ability to compete (injury, other circumstances)

Not only is it important that you allow your child to fail, but it is even more important that you help them to see the lessons to be learned. Be there when they fail with open arms and support. Encourage them to learn a lesson from each failure that they can apply to future competition in sport.

3. 5 Cups Life Balance

50% of this recipe entails a huge dose of life balance lessons. Why? Frankly, because understanding the true lessons of sport (which have nothing to do with sport!) and having healthy perspective is crucial to effective living! Some ways to teach life balance include:

• Model it! Spend less time at work, more time with your children. You only get one chance to see them grow up.
• Foster involvement in activities outside of sport. Visit museums, go to parks, join extracurricular clubs, get involved in band-the opportunities are endless
• Limit sport participation on occasion (when necessary). If your child begins to invest too much of his or her self-worth in sport outcomes, pull back a bit. Reign ‘em in!