I was recently invited to a dinner where the keynote speaker was touted as an expert sport psychologist. He listed on his resume work as clients several professional NFL teams, most recent of which was a local team. Intrigued, I accepted the invitation to the dinner, held by a local financial services company.

Prior to dinner, my colleagues and myself were approached by this expert, a smooth talking and seemingly jovial man, not much older than his mid-forties. He discussed with us his interests and experiences. As a consultant in this same field of expertise, I welcomed the conversation, hoping to learn perhaps at least one tidbit of information to improve my own practice.

Halfway through our discussion, this gentleman began to pontificate about his success. He spoke about the competition, and how most people in the field of sport psychology treated each other poorly due to the limited available clients at the professional level (akin to dogs urinating on trees or fire hydrants in hopes of warding off other canines). He also stated that the "key" to "making it" is to prepare three "canned" speeches. Memorize these short speeches and you are a "made man", as you will then be able to tour the country giving these speeches while being paid huge sums of money. At this point in the conversation, I looked at a colleague who had also attended the dinner, wondering if we were sharing the same emotion: disbelief. We were.

At the end of our conversation, this gentleman proceeded to inform my colleague and I that he might be able to "get some work thrown our way", as he was unable to keep up with demand for his services. He asked for our business cards, and proceeded to write his contact information on them, handing them back to us.

Later, while we were eating dinner, I listened to what I realized was one of this man's three canned speeches. He spoke with passion about treating people well, taking care to be proactive and positive in your belief systems, and finding your inspiration in order to "do good" in the world. He exited quickly after his speech, and we (the dinner guests) were told that he had to be somewhere else, as the professional team he worked for had a car waiting to whisk him away.

The next day, I was inspired to call this gentleman. After all, he had offered to "throw some work my way", and it was my duty to follow-up, as every good consultant does. I reached his voicemail, and left him a message, asking him to return my call.

A week later, I had not heard from him. I called him again, and left another message.

Almost two months later, I still have not heard from this man. Maybe it is because he is extremely busy. Maybe returning my call is on his list of things to do, but further down the list. Or, maybe he was like many other "experts": he talked a good game, but in the end, didn't deliver.

What is the lesson in this story? For me, the lesson I learned is this: walk the talk, or nobody will ever listen to you again. There's a huge difference between being able to talk a good game and being an individual who plays a good game, no matter where the arena.

Credibility is essential to others perceiving you as someone in whom they can confide, trust, believe in, etc. It is built upon actions rather than words. Integrity in your human relations is essential, and is the core of every good relationship. Thus, if you are able to master but one aspect of relating to others, make it this: responsiveness. Relate with others rather than using them as ego-inflating "objects". Deliver true value at every opportunity in your interactions with those around you. The difference in overall quality of your relationships is both startling and refreshing, and your employees, friends, clients, and family will thank you for it.